While I was in South Korea a few months back, I embarked on a trip to do some #seoulsearching. Yes, I discovered so much about this city that I haven't met, but loved so dearly; and while I did that, I found myself amidst some real soul searching.
It felt surreal to be back home and it almost felt like I crashed straight into reality. It hit me really hard. I found the need to disconnect from everything, while I tried to find out 'what was wrong with me?' No, it didn't feel like I was diving back into depressive episodes. This time, it was different.
While I journeyed into this self-discovery, the endless chatter continued into the background and while frustration built up, no one could reason with what was going on in my head. Apparently, having a day that belonged to me alone, was too much to ask for. That, was disappointment at it's best.
Some brushed it off as being 'selfish' while the others said, it was 'child-like'; until it triggered an anxiety attack. For hours, I've poured tears and words, but honestly, it was something that could not have been understood.
All there was to it, was the fact that I've been to strong for too long, that everyone started to take it for granted. I was tired of fixing things, being everyone's backbone and punching bag, and most of all, silent.
Days, weeks and even months went by, as I retreated into having some reflective 'alone' time. If you truly understood me, you would know that I am an extremely dependent person and something like this, would have been considered an abnormal behavior.
Someone recently mentioned that a person is bound to feel lonely at some point in time and the real answer is, of course I do. In fact, all the time.
In these months, I've grown to become accustomed to being on my own. No expectations and just committed to my responsibilities. I only have myself to count on. I may have felt very alone indeed, but I've also discovered and learned to value the ones that would truly stand by me, and most of all, the ones that appreciated me for who I really am.
I've decided to let go of these negative feelings of betrayal, because at the end of the day, the one that got hurt, was me. For trying to protect the ones that I love, I got hurt in return. Well, I must truly apologize for placing expectations towards the people that do not seem to value me the same way. Although sometimes it still tugs at my heart, I can only learn to let them go.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
What Aggressive Skating Means To Me
I've been wanting to find the time to sit down and blog about this, but never really got around to it. And since I do have some time to spare, here it goes..
I started skating again some time last year, when I bought a pair of 2nd hand skates for a steal of $10! The only reason why I didn't skate much previously, was because I refused to purchase a pair of skates. An investment of $200-$300 on a pair of skates did not make any sense to me. It was also then, that I found out that my oldest brother had also purchased a pair of skates not too long ago and had been skating weekly. I really enjoyed skating again but it wasn't long before that pair of skates gave way and after finding too much joy in skating, I somehow ended up purchasing a brand new pair of skates without much thought.
Even though I found joy in skating, I was and still am a terrible skater -.- In fact, there is probably not one lamppost in East Coast Park that I haven't crashed into. The only thing that I was capable of doing was rolling back and forth. I did not know how to slow down, stop or even turn, and it was because of that, that I ended up having a bad fall and suffering from a broken tail bone and torn ligaments in the mid-section of my back and knee.
Still, it wasn't long before I started skating again and this time, I did things the right way, by learning how to turn and brake. I'm still really bad at it, but it is definitely an improvement, comparing to when I first started skating. It was also then, that my oldest brother went back to aggressive skating and it wasn't long before he gifted me with a pair of aggressive skates as an advanced birthday present.
Introducing to you guys, my blue baby, the Valo TV.2.
Although I was overwhelmed with fear (in fact, I still am), I decided to try something new. And honestly, the only reason why I was enthusiastic about skating in general, is probably because it's the perfect excuse that I've got to spend a little more time with my oldest brother. In fact, as time went by, I found skating to be the perfect way to relief stress - on top of the fact that you do get a really good workout from skating as well.
I know that a lot of people would describe me as someone with a really girly personality and find it hard to believe that I picked up aggressive skating. But let's be honest here, the things that I'm doing are the very basic tricks which even I find as an embarrassment, because my fear of falling/pain, is hindering my progress to move forward and sometimes, it really upsets me. Of course it really upsets me even more, when my brother loses his patience and passes off comments like "You're not trying hard enough", "You're stubborn and lazy" or "You are just to scared to do anything."
I believe that everyone progresses differently and that I should attempt things according to my confidence and comfortably at my own pace. With my lack of self confidence, it makes me feel extremely terrible when it seems like my efforts or attempts are not being recognized, especially in comparison to my 2nd brother who has progressed a lot faster than me, after recently picking up aggressive skating.
Still, I find it important to inculcate the habit of never giving up. And although my progress is moving terribly slowly, I find joy in being in the company of the family and friends that I've made (even though they can be really annoying and mean to me) and it has also been a great form to release all that work stress!
So even though my friends have been telling me that it's about time that I hang those skates up and spend a little more time on everything else, I have to say that.. aggressive skating is a blessing to me, because it was an opportunity that reunited both my brothers and I.
Theoretically, aggressive skating has become, part of my heart.
I started skating again some time last year, when I bought a pair of 2nd hand skates for a steal of $10! The only reason why I didn't skate much previously, was because I refused to purchase a pair of skates. An investment of $200-$300 on a pair of skates did not make any sense to me. It was also then, that I found out that my oldest brother had also purchased a pair of skates not too long ago and had been skating weekly. I really enjoyed skating again but it wasn't long before that pair of skates gave way and after finding too much joy in skating, I somehow ended up purchasing a brand new pair of skates without much thought.
Even though I found joy in skating, I was and still am a terrible skater -.- In fact, there is probably not one lamppost in East Coast Park that I haven't crashed into. The only thing that I was capable of doing was rolling back and forth. I did not know how to slow down, stop or even turn, and it was because of that, that I ended up having a bad fall and suffering from a broken tail bone and torn ligaments in the mid-section of my back and knee.
Still, it wasn't long before I started skating again and this time, I did things the right way, by learning how to turn and brake. I'm still really bad at it, but it is definitely an improvement, comparing to when I first started skating. It was also then, that my oldest brother went back to aggressive skating and it wasn't long before he gifted me with a pair of aggressive skates as an advanced birthday present.
Introducing to you guys, my blue baby, the Valo TV.2.
Although I was overwhelmed with fear (in fact, I still am), I decided to try something new. And honestly, the only reason why I was enthusiastic about skating in general, is probably because it's the perfect excuse that I've got to spend a little more time with my oldest brother. In fact, as time went by, I found skating to be the perfect way to relief stress - on top of the fact that you do get a really good workout from skating as well.
I know that a lot of people would describe me as someone with a really girly personality and find it hard to believe that I picked up aggressive skating. But let's be honest here, the things that I'm doing are the very basic tricks which even I find as an embarrassment, because my fear of falling/pain, is hindering my progress to move forward and sometimes, it really upsets me. Of course it really upsets me even more, when my brother loses his patience and passes off comments like "You're not trying hard enough", "You're stubborn and lazy" or "You are just to scared to do anything."
I believe that everyone progresses differently and that I should attempt things according to my confidence and comfortably at my own pace. With my lack of self confidence, it makes me feel extremely terrible when it seems like my efforts or attempts are not being recognized, especially in comparison to my 2nd brother who has progressed a lot faster than me, after recently picking up aggressive skating.
Still, I find it important to inculcate the habit of never giving up. And although my progress is moving terribly slowly, I find joy in being in the company of the family and friends that I've made (even though they can be really annoying and mean to me) and it has also been a great form to release all that work stress!
So even though my friends have been telling me that it's about time that I hang those skates up and spend a little more time on everything else, I have to say that.. aggressive skating is a blessing to me, because it was an opportunity that reunited both my brothers and I.
Theoretically, aggressive skating has become, part of my heart.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Korean Skincare Products
If you've been following me on twitter, you would know that I've been complaining alot about my deteriorating complexion and acne trouble. And for those of you who think that I'm exaggerating things, I've previously blogged about my battle with acne here : My Complexion and Me
About a month or two back, I accompanied my SIL to one of her facial appointments and actually went through an emergency treatment for my complexion, which really caused a huge hole in my pocket. It healed for awhile, but it's all coming back again. I have to admit though, that my acne trouble is likely due to stress and all the binge eating that I've been doing.
So until I can afford to burn another hole in my pocket, I decided to make a switch and start using some organic products from Korea! :)
These are among some of the highly raved products, so I decided to give them a try! I know it's really hard to get this brand, Innisfree since there is no physical store here in Singapore, but just to share, I got my products from this online store http://www.sunnanz.com.sg/Sunnanz
It was my first time ordering from them and although there was some issue with my order, I received my items in good condition within the next 2 days!
I still think that it's a little too early to tell if the product works for my skin, since I've only been using it for about 2 weeks, but I will definitely come back with an update if it does! :)
Until the next entry (hopefully not too long later :p), xoxo and have a pleasant week ahead!
About a month or two back, I accompanied my SIL to one of her facial appointments and actually went through an emergency treatment for my complexion, which really caused a huge hole in my pocket. It healed for awhile, but it's all coming back again. I have to admit though, that my acne trouble is likely due to stress and all the binge eating that I've been doing.
So until I can afford to burn another hole in my pocket, I decided to make a switch and start using some organic products from Korea! :)
These are among some of the highly raved products, so I decided to give them a try! I know it's really hard to get this brand, Innisfree since there is no physical store here in Singapore, but just to share, I got my products from this online store http://www.sunnanz.com.sg/Sunnanz
It was my first time ordering from them and although there was some issue with my order, I received my items in good condition within the next 2 days!
I still think that it's a little too early to tell if the product works for my skin, since I've only been using it for about 2 weeks, but I will definitely come back with an update if it does! :)
Until the next entry (hopefully not too long later :p), xoxo and have a pleasant week ahead!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
It's a Date!
Not too long ago, I mentioned that I had been working on something.. and it's finally out! It's Clicknetwork's new online reality dating show! :)
I've always been an avid fan of Korean variety shows, especially the dating ones.. so I was pretty psyched at the opportunity to participate in something similar!
If you haven't watched it, here are the episodes!
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Generic comments of me on the show, was that I am really quiet and shy! And when my brothers and friends heard about this, they burst out laughing in my face -.- I guess it's hard for them to believe since I am supposedly labelled the noisiest person among my friends.. but when you put me with such individualistic characters such as Charlene and Joanna, I am really such a turtle (I tend to hide in my shell)!
I've never met girls as knowledgeable and confident as these two. Although the 3 of us are rather different in characters, it's been such joy being in the company of these girls and even until today, hanging out with them means nothing but good times! :)
Although I'm done with my episodes, do continue to watch the girls in the next few episodes and let's see if they find a match! New episode comes out on Tuesdays at 10pm!
I've always been an avid fan of Korean variety shows, especially the dating ones.. so I was pretty psyched at the opportunity to participate in something similar!
If you haven't watched it, here are the episodes!
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Generic comments of me on the show, was that I am really quiet and shy! And when my brothers and friends heard about this, they burst out laughing in my face -.- I guess it's hard for them to believe since I am supposedly labelled the noisiest person among my friends.. but when you put me with such individualistic characters such as Charlene and Joanna, I am really such a turtle (I tend to hide in my shell)!
I've never met girls as knowledgeable and confident as these two. Although the 3 of us are rather different in characters, it's been such joy being in the company of these girls and even until today, hanging out with them means nothing but good times! :)
Although I'm done with my episodes, do continue to watch the girls in the next few episodes and let's see if they find a match! New episode comes out on Tuesdays at 10pm!
Monday, June 17, 2013
My Best Friend's 26th
Been pretty psyched out for Amanda's birthday to arrive, cause it's actually the first time in 14 years that we're having a "sleepover"! Not to mention, it's also the first time that all 3 of us, Amanda, Nush and myself are all in town and available to party!
Checked ourselves in at Marina Bay Sands, before Nush and Sarah came over! Although I was absolutely exhausted from the work week and the lack of sleep, nothing beats spending an evening lazing around with my girlfriends!
I think one of the most memorable moments for me that weekend, was getting ready for the night with Amanda, Sarah and Nush! Nush may be the smartest academically in comparison to both Amanda and I, but she never fails to make us wonder WHY, whenever she screams at us in the bathroom, asking "What is that you're using? Why you never share with me? Can I use it over my make up now?" LOLOLOL.
I also recently purchased a curling iron based on Sarah's recommendation, so it was a good opportunity for me to test it out on myself and the girls! I have to agree with Sarah that it really was a good investment! Our curls lasted the entire night, despite the minimal use of hair products!
We left the hotel slightly passed midnight and headed over to Avalon to party! Honestly, it's been so long since I've really partied smoothly. Actually, I think the last time was in Bangkok, hehe.
After all that partying, we got out of the club at 3ish and were hanging outside, when drama unfolded right before our eyes. On a normal basis, I'd freak out if a fight broke out in front of me. But this time, I laughed so hard. Let me explain (not too much in detail) why.
While we were outside, we noticed a girl walking out of the club barefooted, puking while her entire face was hidden in a plastic bag and at the same time, I heard her crying. I thought to myself, "Man, this girl's messed up."
So my girlfriends, being their friendly selves went to kaypo and found out that not only was she drunk, but someone had stolen her wallet. While this was happening, they somehow started a conversation with this lonely dude sitting by himself, not too far away. Apparently, he got banned from the club for supposedly elbowing a girl (which he mentioned was an accident) -.-
And in a flash, this other aggressive dude and a lady walked out of the club. Aggressive dude goes up to lonely dude and starts cussing at him, spewing vulgarities about lonely dude's mum and proceeds to yell at him on how a man should never hit a woman. Lonely dude continues to explain himself which taking off his shirt (don't ask me why, but my girlfriends were screaming for him to put it back on, lol) and the next thing I know, they were both locked around each other and dropped to the ground in a fist fight.
The girl who got elbowed runs in between them in an attempt to break the fight up and gets hit a few times in the process. I don't know about you guys man, but I think it makes logical sense for a woman to NEVER step into a physical fight between two men. Aggressive dude starts getting even more aggravated (even though he hit her a few times by accident in that process) and continues the fight.
My bestfriends Nush and Amanda, starts screaming and telling them to stop, spewing words like these "What an idiot! Stop fighting and go back to your own country!", "She's so ugly no one wants to touch her" I couldn't help burst out into laughter when I heard that. With the fight going on for some time now, Nush tells Amanda "Amanda, go do something!" *slaps forehead*
Why would you ask your bestfriend to step into a fight?! So I told Henry, to go break up the fight before one of the girls get hurt. While all this was happening, crying and puking sounds from the drunk girl earlier got even louder. And I was still laughing thinking to myself, "Is this a drama or comedy man?!"
Anyway.. after the fight broke up. The damn girl who got elbowed told the aggressive dude to "Stop because it's not worth it" but somehow continued instigating him, by telling him how she got hit by a guy. I really hate to say this, but what a dumb woman. A passerby had also stepped in, in an attempt to break up the fight but got hit by this aggressive dude because he thought they were friends. Oh geez. The fight didn't end there, but that was the gist of it I guess.. Man, what an epic night.
Next party's mine! Can't wait! ;)
Checked ourselves in at Marina Bay Sands, before Nush and Sarah came over! Although I was absolutely exhausted from the work week and the lack of sleep, nothing beats spending an evening lazing around with my girlfriends!
I think one of the most memorable moments for me that weekend, was getting ready for the night with Amanda, Sarah and Nush! Nush may be the smartest academically in comparison to both Amanda and I, but she never fails to make us wonder WHY, whenever she screams at us in the bathroom, asking "What is that you're using? Why you never share with me? Can I use it over my make up now?" LOLOLOL.
I also recently purchased a curling iron based on Sarah's recommendation, so it was a good opportunity for me to test it out on myself and the girls! I have to agree with Sarah that it really was a good investment! Our curls lasted the entire night, despite the minimal use of hair products!
The party started after everyone started streaming in around 9pm -10pm!
We left the hotel slightly passed midnight and headed over to Avalon to party! Honestly, it's been so long since I've really partied smoothly. Actually, I think the last time was in Bangkok, hehe.
After all that partying, we got out of the club at 3ish and were hanging outside, when drama unfolded right before our eyes. On a normal basis, I'd freak out if a fight broke out in front of me. But this time, I laughed so hard. Let me explain (not too much in detail) why.
While we were outside, we noticed a girl walking out of the club barefooted, puking while her entire face was hidden in a plastic bag and at the same time, I heard her crying. I thought to myself, "Man, this girl's messed up."
So my girlfriends, being their friendly selves went to kaypo and found out that not only was she drunk, but someone had stolen her wallet. While this was happening, they somehow started a conversation with this lonely dude sitting by himself, not too far away. Apparently, he got banned from the club for supposedly elbowing a girl (which he mentioned was an accident) -.-
And in a flash, this other aggressive dude and a lady walked out of the club. Aggressive dude goes up to lonely dude and starts cussing at him, spewing vulgarities about lonely dude's mum and proceeds to yell at him on how a man should never hit a woman. Lonely dude continues to explain himself which taking off his shirt (don't ask me why, but my girlfriends were screaming for him to put it back on, lol) and the next thing I know, they were both locked around each other and dropped to the ground in a fist fight.
The girl who got elbowed runs in between them in an attempt to break the fight up and gets hit a few times in the process. I don't know about you guys man, but I think it makes logical sense for a woman to NEVER step into a physical fight between two men. Aggressive dude starts getting even more aggravated (even though he hit her a few times by accident in that process) and continues the fight.
My bestfriends Nush and Amanda, starts screaming and telling them to stop, spewing words like these "What an idiot! Stop fighting and go back to your own country!", "She's so ugly no one wants to touch her" I couldn't help burst out into laughter when I heard that. With the fight going on for some time now, Nush tells Amanda "Amanda, go do something!" *slaps forehead*
Why would you ask your bestfriend to step into a fight?! So I told Henry, to go break up the fight before one of the girls get hurt. While all this was happening, crying and puking sounds from the drunk girl earlier got even louder. And I was still laughing thinking to myself, "Is this a drama or comedy man?!"
Anyway.. after the fight broke up. The damn girl who got elbowed told the aggressive dude to "Stop because it's not worth it" but somehow continued instigating him, by telling him how she got hit by a guy. I really hate to say this, but what a dumb woman. A passerby had also stepped in, in an attempt to break up the fight but got hit by this aggressive dude because he thought they were friends. Oh geez. The fight didn't end there, but that was the gist of it I guess.. Man, what an epic night.
Next party's mine! Can't wait! ;)
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Quarter Life Crisis
I've been feeling really down these few days, but I refuse to believe that I'm heading towards another low point in my life.
I think it's official.. I'm facing a quarter life crisis. But I'll get through this for sure.. once I figure things out.
About 4 years ago, I was a completely different person. I had no drive, goals, or even a plan for my future. To me, I used to believe in growing up, marrying the love of my life and being a wonderful wife and loving other to his children. Damn, what was I thinking?
I was clouded by love, for the longest time, that I didn't notice how the world around me had changed. I had no idea how everyone had quickened their pace and moved forward, while I somehow got left behind.
It was then that I realised, how important it was for me to catch up and make a difference in my life before it was too late. After all, with my then-boyfriend focused on his priorities, all I had was time. So I drafted out a 5 year plan, which compromised of primary and secondary goals that I would like to achieve each year. And at the end of 5 years, I would like to have accomplished as much as possible and more importantly, see a change.
Although I was pretty much thrown off my game, when I went through a break up; with the help of my father, I found reason and motivation to get back on my two feet. It was indeed a difficult time for me, but I have too give credit to my ex-boyfriend, for helping me realise how naive I was, to have been living life the way I did.
With new found motivation and support, my determination got the best of me. I had learned to use all that negative energy that was engulfing me and turned it into fueling energy to spur me on. I finally figured out how much I've been missing and charged towards achieving these goals.
Sure, my friends are slowly starting to get hitched and some are even starting to have kids. But didn't I just switched to my 3rd gear? Then why does it seem like I'm not gaining enough speed to move forward? There has to be more than this.
I've gotten my degree, started on a new job that can sometimes be a challenge for me and even started learning the Korean language. Yet somehow it still feels like I haven't found what I'm meant to do. There's so much more that I'd like to accomplish, but obstacles always seem to get in the way.
Nevertheless, I must not be discouraged because there's a dying flame in me that's waiting for the right moment to ignite. If I could have gotten past the worst, this certainly should be a piece of cake. I just need to keep pressing forth and keep myself from burning out, so that when the moment arrives, nothing can stop me from exploding into fireworks.
This too shall pass, 화이팅!
I think it's official.. I'm facing a quarter life crisis. But I'll get through this for sure.. once I figure things out.
About 4 years ago, I was a completely different person. I had no drive, goals, or even a plan for my future. To me, I used to believe in growing up, marrying the love of my life and being a wonderful wife and loving other to his children. Damn, what was I thinking?
I was clouded by love, for the longest time, that I didn't notice how the world around me had changed. I had no idea how everyone had quickened their pace and moved forward, while I somehow got left behind.
It was then that I realised, how important it was for me to catch up and make a difference in my life before it was too late. After all, with my then-boyfriend focused on his priorities, all I had was time. So I drafted out a 5 year plan, which compromised of primary and secondary goals that I would like to achieve each year. And at the end of 5 years, I would like to have accomplished as much as possible and more importantly, see a change.
Although I was pretty much thrown off my game, when I went through a break up; with the help of my father, I found reason and motivation to get back on my two feet. It was indeed a difficult time for me, but I have too give credit to my ex-boyfriend, for helping me realise how naive I was, to have been living life the way I did.
With new found motivation and support, my determination got the best of me. I had learned to use all that negative energy that was engulfing me and turned it into fueling energy to spur me on. I finally figured out how much I've been missing and charged towards achieving these goals.
Sure, my friends are slowly starting to get hitched and some are even starting to have kids. But didn't I just switched to my 3rd gear? Then why does it seem like I'm not gaining enough speed to move forward? There has to be more than this.
I've gotten my degree, started on a new job that can sometimes be a challenge for me and even started learning the Korean language. Yet somehow it still feels like I haven't found what I'm meant to do. There's so much more that I'd like to accomplish, but obstacles always seem to get in the way.
Nevertheless, I must not be discouraged because there's a dying flame in me that's waiting for the right moment to ignite. If I could have gotten past the worst, this certainly should be a piece of cake. I just need to keep pressing forth and keep myself from burning out, so that when the moment arrives, nothing can stop me from exploding into fireworks.
This too shall pass, 화이팅!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
My Biggest Worry
I used to believe that I've already lived the hardest part of my life and battled it out against all odds, but at the back of my mind, I know that hasn't happened yet. Maybe I'll experience it in the next 5, 10 or maybe even 15 years. But when that happens, I really don't know if I can survive that fight.
I am the youngest and only girl, among two brothers and well, I guess it's safe to say we're worlds apart. Amongst us, there is a 10 and 7 year age gap, and then there's me. I won't go into details on the hardships of life that I have experienced, but if you've been following my blog since it's prior move, then you would kinda have had a summary of my life already. Let's just say, life has always been bitter and it was only in recent years that I've managed to enjoy the fruits of my labour, after much persistence.
Like everyone else, aside from all the worry of earning enough to sustain the necessities of our daily lives and all our other financial commitments, I worry very much about the health of my parents. Both my parents are already in their 60s and in fact, my dad turns 68 next month..
Since I was a child, I've always been a daddy's girl. I don't know if it's because I don't get to see my dad very often, but he always is my number 1. He's the person that I call for no reason, just to ask "What are you doing?" even if I know he's at work and he's also the first person that I call, whenever I receive good news and even when I'm upset. My dad is willing to sacrifice in ways that I could never imagine, just to ensure that my happiness comes first. Most of all, I love my dad for standing by me, through my darkest moments, giving me hope, support and a reason to live.
When it comes to my mum, most of our time is spent in silence. We've arrived at a situation where I choose to remain silent most of the time, just so I wouldn't be quick to hurt her with my sharp tongue because when that happens, it hurts me the most.
While I was drowning in a pool of worries tonight and texting my dad, he mentioned that his health isn't looking too good. And right then, it felt as though the roof had fallen on me. My biggest worry has arrived. I've been too used to having my dad as a pillar of support that I really can't imagine a life without him and with his age catching up with him, I am very worried about his health.
Just last year, I noticed that his eyes were turning a shade of grey. And after pestering him for the longest time, he finally went to get it checked and found out that he had a catarac problem. We scheduled him for an operation which he insisted on going alone (-.-) and thankfully, had his condition resolved (after scolding the nurses there like a grumpy old man).
This time though, my dad's sugar levels aren't looking too good and even though he says that his condition is being monitored for these 2 weeks, I can't help but worry. And the only way to get this off my chest... is this word vomit.
I really don't mind the hardships of life, but I really, really hope that my parents remain healthy.. At least until I am able to provide them with a life, they deserve.
So please, wait for me.
I am the youngest and only girl, among two brothers and well, I guess it's safe to say we're worlds apart. Amongst us, there is a 10 and 7 year age gap, and then there's me. I won't go into details on the hardships of life that I have experienced, but if you've been following my blog since it's prior move, then you would kinda have had a summary of my life already. Let's just say, life has always been bitter and it was only in recent years that I've managed to enjoy the fruits of my labour, after much persistence.
Like everyone else, aside from all the worry of earning enough to sustain the necessities of our daily lives and all our other financial commitments, I worry very much about the health of my parents. Both my parents are already in their 60s and in fact, my dad turns 68 next month..
Since I was a child, I've always been a daddy's girl. I don't know if it's because I don't get to see my dad very often, but he always is my number 1. He's the person that I call for no reason, just to ask "What are you doing?" even if I know he's at work and he's also the first person that I call, whenever I receive good news and even when I'm upset. My dad is willing to sacrifice in ways that I could never imagine, just to ensure that my happiness comes first. Most of all, I love my dad for standing by me, through my darkest moments, giving me hope, support and a reason to live.
When it comes to my mum, most of our time is spent in silence. We've arrived at a situation where I choose to remain silent most of the time, just so I wouldn't be quick to hurt her with my sharp tongue because when that happens, it hurts me the most.
While I was drowning in a pool of worries tonight and texting my dad, he mentioned that his health isn't looking too good. And right then, it felt as though the roof had fallen on me. My biggest worry has arrived. I've been too used to having my dad as a pillar of support that I really can't imagine a life without him and with his age catching up with him, I am very worried about his health.
Just last year, I noticed that his eyes were turning a shade of grey. And after pestering him for the longest time, he finally went to get it checked and found out that he had a catarac problem. We scheduled him for an operation which he insisted on going alone (-.-) and thankfully, had his condition resolved (after scolding the nurses there like a grumpy old man).
This time though, my dad's sugar levels aren't looking too good and even though he says that his condition is being monitored for these 2 weeks, I can't help but worry. And the only way to get this off my chest... is this word vomit.
I really don't mind the hardships of life, but I really, really hope that my parents remain healthy.. At least until I am able to provide them with a life, they deserve.
So please, wait for me.
Monday, April 15, 2013
The Sum of March & April
I know the inconsistency with my entries are inexcusable, but I've been really busy in the past few weeks and everything has been nothing but a blurry whiz through time. I've also lost my Moleskin diary, which only means I haven't been able to keep track of anything!
I've been consumed with Korean classes! It's been about a month and a half since I started and it will be my final class next week! Hopefully, I'll be able to continue to the next level. 화이팅! I've also been working on a project for the past few weekends but all that has since wrapped up for me! So aside from work taking up most of my time, I can finally breathe a little!
It's also been a week since I last received the BIG news, which I will probably share with everyone in due time. There's still much that needs to be sorted out and very little time, to make the most of everything. And even though I've been really stressed about it, I still believe that everything happens for a reason and good things will find its way, once I've crossed these obstacles. I just need to start working really hard now! :O
My diet and exercise plan has been a failure for the last few months. Breaking my tail bone has got to be one of my biggest regret, because it really fucked my entire system up and it's so hard to get started all over again! I need a personal trainer! T.T
And most of all, April is always a sign of my yearly trip to..... Bangkok! I am 14 days away from my next off day, which coincidentally happens to be the day that I am finally going on leave! Strange enough, I am not as excited as I usually am, but I believe it's probably because I am both physically and mentally exhausted, that I'm just looking forward to a day where I don't have to wake up early or go to work.
Also, I had initially planned to go on a trip with my dad to celebrate his birthday next month and when I shared the news with my siblings, everyone wanted to come along! So we decided to plan a family trip (Phuket or Bali), which includes my mum as well! However, due to unforeseen circumstances, we may or may not be able to make this trip happen, but if that doesn't happen, hopefully we'll still get to drive up somewhere.
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| Here's a picture of me looking really exhausted =o= |
That's it for updates~!
Hope that I'll be back soon with more entries!
잘지내요!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Cityscape Skate
It was a pretty impromptu suggestion, but we decided to head out for a skate session at promenade lawn after work/dinner one evening. I had a dinner appointment and didn't have my gear with me, but my brother went over to my place to pack and collect my stuff!
He actually got me everything that I needed (even my rainbow socks!) but I still don't understand how he confused "orange tank top" with a tee -.- Lucky for me, he brought an extra tank top that I had given to my sister-in-law, so I borrowed it for the night! ;)
Even with my night blindness and fear that comes along with a recovering broken tail bone, I skated on and tried to overcome my fear.. and the next thing I know, we ended up at Marina Bay Sands!
Ahem, don't judge me because I'm wearing make up and false lashes okay!
And being such geniuses, we wanted to find a great place to chill out but realize that no one had money with us.. We had no choice but to head back, especially since I wouldn't have the energy to make my way back if we had continued moving forward! By the time we headed back, we decided to drop by Avalon to say hi to my cousin, who was just starting work!
Even with our skates on, he is still so much taller than my brother and I :O
By the time we were done rolling around, we decided to push ourselves to the limit and skate back to the car non stop! When we finally arrived in the carpark, none of us could feel our legs and honestly, all I could hear was my thighs screaming for help. Nevertheless, it was a really awesome skate night! After all, a good workout is the ultimate stress buster!
He actually got me everything that I needed (even my rainbow socks!) but I still don't understand how he confused "orange tank top" with a tee -.- Lucky for me, he brought an extra tank top that I had given to my sister-in-law, so I borrowed it for the night! ;)
Even with my night blindness and fear that comes along with a recovering broken tail bone, I skated on and tried to overcome my fear.. and the next thing I know, we ended up at Marina Bay Sands!
Ahem, don't judge me because I'm wearing make up and false lashes okay!
After all our epic skating sessions, there was simply no way that we were going to stop there, because it wasn't much of a challenge! We skated past Marina Bay Sands and ended up soaking up the cityscape all the way to Fullerton Bay Hotel!
And being such geniuses, we wanted to find a great place to chill out but realize that no one had money with us.. We had no choice but to head back, especially since I wouldn't have the energy to make my way back if we had continued moving forward! By the time we headed back, we decided to drop by Avalon to say hi to my cousin, who was just starting work!
Even with our skates on, he is still so much taller than my brother and I :O
By the time we were done rolling around, we decided to push ourselves to the limit and skate back to the car non stop! When we finally arrived in the carpark, none of us could feel our legs and honestly, all I could hear was my thighs screaming for help. Nevertheless, it was a really awesome skate night! After all, a good workout is the ultimate stress buster!
The Sunshine of Life
"friendship is precious, not only in the shade,
but in the sunshine of life."
I guess I should count myself lucky.. For finding friendship when I least expected it.
I miss coming into my old office and hearing
"Quickly play some kpop and tell me what happened yesterday!"
I miss having someone ever so ready to indulge in cup noodles
together and camwhoring, just because..
Thank you for being a friend to me, in a place where I least expected it
and when I needed it the most.. Spread your wings, fly and like me,
I hope you find success in the greener pastures that awaits you :)
Friday, March 15, 2013
With My Favourite Girls
So about 2 weeks ago, the girls finally met up for brunch at Wild Honey! Irene and Joceyln couldn't join us, but hopefully the eight of us will get to reunite soon! :)
I'm surprised I woke up this early on a Sunday afternoon, but I haven't seen these pretty faces in soo long, I really made an effort okay! *pats self on back* It was my second time at Wild Honey, so I'm not too sure how they work, but the girls mentioned that they didn't take reservations and that if they were crowded, we had no choice but to wait for seats.
We were third on the waiting list, but after an hour, names that came after us were striked off and we were still first on the waiting list. There was only 1 table available for 6 of us, but the people who were occupying that table and were done with brunch continued sitting there for an hour while we starved on the outside. I know it isn't very nice to chase your patrons away, but even when 2 tables that could seat 4 each were empty, the staff didn't think to seat us down. Omg, I can't even begin to describe the frustration that I was feeling. Having been in the f&b industry, I think the situation was poorly handled by the manager in charge at that moment. Thankfully for us, there was another manager that assisted us and even offered us complimentary cupcakes for service recovery, that made us feel really bad after..
Even though it was a dramatic afternoon, we finally had brunch after 1.5 hours of waiting.
Although it was a little too quick, we finally managed to catch up after so long and it made me miss the girls so much more. It wasn't long before we had to bid our farewells..
Kay and I were in a mad rush to Bedok Reservoir, because we had to get there before Sel. Her boyfriend was organizing a surprise party for her, with some help from the rest!
It was a simple barbecue with ciders and beers to go around. Some of my Awesome Possum People were present too! Familiar faces that I've missed, like my bff Rodney, Hannan, Zack! I miss the boys too much!
Didn't stay for long since I was really suffering the aftermath of partying in Jakarta and 1-Altitude that weekend.. But I really did enjoy myself, spending time with the people that made such a huge impact in my life. I can never really thank them for being my side during my toughest times, but I really love and appreciate you guys to death!
The best thing that has ever happened to me, was losing the most important person in my life and gaining the friendship of the uncountable number of all of you! ;)
And finally, happy Birthday Princess! I hope you had a wonderful surprise and may the year ahead be blessed with an abundance of happiness and success! I love you babe! ♥
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Madhu's 10.25th Birthday
Madhu's birthday actually falls on the 29th of February, which is of course once every four years, which is why this year, she turned 10.25 years old! :X
I was in Jakarta over her birthday weekend and was scheduled to touch down right before the party. And although I almost succumbed to the temptation of extending my stay in Jakarta, well the familia comes first eh? Surviving on just 7 hours of sleep in 2 days, all of us gathered at 1-Altitude to celebrate her birthday!
The last time we were at 1-Altitude was for the Best Nightspot Party and it was a thunderstorm, so we couldn't party in the rooftop and well, let's just say that no one made it out alive. So this time, we came back to party with a vengeance!
All those in attendance..
My brother, Bryan, Myself, the bestfriend Amanda, birthday girl Madhu, sister-in-law/Mrs Boss Mel and Uncle Ong :X
I just had to post this picture because you can see Amanda and I in the background, absorbed in our intense conversation and excitement!
And well, that pretty much summed up a party rocking weekend that I haven't had in ages! ^^V
I was in Jakarta over her birthday weekend and was scheduled to touch down right before the party. And although I almost succumbed to the temptation of extending my stay in Jakarta, well the familia comes first eh? Surviving on just 7 hours of sleep in 2 days, all of us gathered at 1-Altitude to celebrate her birthday!
The last time we were at 1-Altitude was for the Best Nightspot Party and it was a thunderstorm, so we couldn't party in the rooftop and well, let's just say that no one made it out alive. So this time, we came back to party with a vengeance!
All those in attendance..
My brother, Bryan, Myself, the bestfriend Amanda, birthday girl Madhu, sister-in-law/Mrs Boss Mel and Uncle Ong :X
Even though I was really really exhausted and spent most of the night sitting down or shuffling (hehe, I couldn't seem to stop) , I really did enjoy myself! Adam was spinning really awesome music as always and the staff were all really hospitable! Really got to thank them for making my friends feel at home! :)
And well, I'll just leave you with some pictures taken with Madhu's friend's really awesome dslr! :)
I just had to post this picture because you can see Amanda and I in the background, absorbed in our intense conversation and excitement!
And well, that pretty much summed up a party rocking weekend that I haven't had in ages! ^^V
Monday, March 4, 2013
Jakarta City
Exactly a month after my Malacca trip, I found myself travelling all over again and this time, to Jakarta! I had only booked my ticket the night before I was supposed to leave, so talk about impromptu!
Thursday was an absolutely hectic day for me because I was on leave, but I had an important meeting to attend. Wore my favourite dress from H&M and paired it with my strapped velvet wedges (which totally killed my legs btw).
Since my mum wasn't going to be sending me off, I dropped by her work place to say goodbye before making my way home to pack!
I even managed to squeeze in time to have lunch with my Rod, (my bff) who has been complaining that I've been neglecting him amidst my crazy schedule!
My dad came over to my place to pick me up and practically hurried me out of the house because he insisted that I had to get to the airport asap! And like everyone else, he was questioning the size of my luggage and everything else that I had packed in! Ahem, just to be clear, it's not my fault that I have soooo many hair & facial products to pack okay! :(
Anyway, I was filled with excitement and fear because it was going to be my first time travelling alone! Most of my friends have travelled on their own at a young age, but you know, being the youngest and the only girl in the family, everyone knows how much of a microscopic watch I'm under with my mum :/ But of course, these days, I kinda like to say that I really am living my life to the fullest and making sure that nothing can compromise that.
Yes, I am wearing the same dress, except that I had it folded up!
Day 1:
So the flight up to Jakarta was pretty okay. I fell asleep and the next thing I knew, I was already in Jakarta. Although there was a little confusion at the airport, I managed to figure my way around.
Took a cab to Plaza Senayan to meet my colleagues, who were at Union waiting for me! Although tired from the flight, I was amazed by team behind the bar! There were about 9 of them and they were all really meticulous and paid really close attention to the the concoction of each drink. What a show!
We made our way over to X2 after, to check out the place and also have a few drinks. But of course, we didn't stay till late, since we were all pretty worn out. And even though our hotel was a 5 minute walk away, we succumbed to our laziness and took a cab back. Especially since it was about $2 for the cab ride? A luxury we can't afford in Singapore for sure!
Day 2:
The next day, we all woke up really early to have breakfast at the hotel. And even though Dee and I were really tired from the lack of sleep, we went on a mission looking for indomie, but ended up exploring a really boring mall nearby. In the end, we ended up at Starbucks for my daily fix! :p
We headed back to the hotel just before it started to drizzle and met up with Kenneth for lunch! We were on a hunt for authentic nasi padang and ended up circling the roads of Jakarta for about an hour, before we actually found the restaurant that Kenneth was looking for -.-
I didn't exactly have the luxury of taking post-worthy pictures, but we had about 10 different dishes served to us! If you haven't been to Jakarta before, apparently the restaurants automatically serves you a range of dishes, whether you eat them or not!
After lunch, Dee and I decided to indulge in a massage! We even wanted to get our hair done, but we didn't exactly have much time on hand, so we settled for reflexology! I think it was probably the most painful reflexology that I've ever encountered, but the lazy told me to just bear with the pain and that it was probably because I walk a lot and I am very stressed -.- I think we paid about less than $10 for an hour?
We headed to eX Plaza and Plaza/Grand Indonesia (I don't know remember which one :/) after to shop a little. And on our way there, we encountered some crazy dude that yelled at me. Ironically though, I chucked my paranoia aside and just walked away bravely pretending that it didn't bother me, while Dee just went into a state of panic, lol.
And here's a really gorgeous picture of the atrium that looked like a mixture of a grand palace and runway...
Dinner was at about 8pm, so we ended up getting our pre-dinner fix of grilled scallops and sushi by the pool before we started getting ready for the party.
Met up with Adam and Sammy before making our way to Union for dinner! Armed with a trusty pair of flats, I was really ready to party!
So my colleagues and I finally gathered at Union for dinner, along with some of their friends from Indonesia! I don't exactly have pictures of everyone, since it was a really big group of us, but here's one with Dee and Sammy! ^^
Since it was really too early, we headed back to the hotel to change/freshen up/pack my luggage, before the driver came to pick us up and it was off to the High On Style Party at Equinox, X2!
The crowd had already started streaming in, but the club only started packing up at about 1am! I was extremely thankful to the team that hosted us in Jakarta because I partied really hard and enjoyed myself!
I'll just leave you guys with pictures from the party!
Awesome music as always, by Adam and Kenneth!
We called it a night at about 4AM (5AM) Singapore time, since most of our friends had left and we all had a really early flight the next day!
Although Dee and I almost missed our flight and it was a mere 2 days away from Singapore, I have to say that I really did enjoy myself and the company that I had!
Thank you Jakarta for an amazing time and I will see you soon! :)
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